


wish you were sober

by prologhe



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, But not that much, Closeted Character, M/M, Making Out, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Asheiji, and makes a lot of bad decisions, but who doesn't tbh, mutual crush, shorter is afraid, they are just dumb teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23616931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prologhe/pseuds/prologhe
Summary: “You look beautiful,” it came after a moment of silence. Eiji chuckled again, still not looking at Shorter.He knew, deep down, he had dressed up and tried to look pretty just a bit, just enough for things to be different, for Shorter to maybe spare him a glance before alcohol made him do it. But Eiji wouldn’t admit it in a million years, and it hadn’t worked anyways — Shorter was drunk and staring at him with those vulnerable eyes that Eiji knew were reserved just to him, so instead, he rolled his eyes and said, “Is this you or the alcohol speaking?”Eiji wished Shorter was sober.
Relationships: Okumura Eiji/Shorter Wong
Comments: 7
Kudos: 73





	wish you were sober

**Author's Note:**

> we need more shoreiji content and if no one is going to do it, i will
> 
> disclaimer!! there is NO trigger warning here, but you should be aware that this does not portray an actual healthy relationship. i don't want to spoil anything here, but shorter has his own issues, as does eiji, and they are just teenagers taking stupid decisions — as does any teenager. none of them are actual bad people, though, but sometimes everything's is just scary and confused. i'm just trying to prevent some misunderstandings later skjdskj (also, my native language isn't english, so forgive any mistakes)
> 
> i hope you like it!! enjoy the read!

Eiji wished he could say he didn't know how he'd ended up there, but he knew it very well.

He had known it for a long time now. He had known it since he became friends with Sing, and since he discovered there was this dude with purple hair a year above them he idolized. He had known it since he was introduced to said guy, and while staring at him from behind his sunglasses (even though it was a gloomy day), Shorter gave him a grin.

He had known it since Shorter started to approach him multiple times and start a conversation, only with him, even though he was a popular dude with shocking looks and Eiji was just the plain, shy Japanese exchange student. He had known it since they got closer slowly, and since he got the first invite to a party at someone’s house — someone he didn’t even know properly, but Shorter said it was alright, Eiji was _his_ guest, Cain wouldn’t mind.

He had known it since he got out of that party way earlier than everyone, because that was _definitely_ not his crowd, and Shorter had noticed it. He had known it since their lips met for the first time, in a drunken haze. He had known it since he didn’t get any message in the morning afterwards. He had known it since he got the second invite, again, and the third, and the fourth, and even though he always knew how it would end up, he went, because Shorter asked him once more.

And he had always known it, again and again — every time Shorter took the first sip of his beer, right when they arrived at the party, he had known it.

________________________________

**[18/09 04:10 PM] Shorter:** party at ash’s tonight

 **[18/09 04:11 PM] Shorter:** what do u say

 **[18/09 04:13 PM]** **Eiji:** Shorter…

 **[18/09 04:14 PM]** **Shorter:** :((

 **[18/09 04:14 PM]** **Eiji:** Really?

 **[18/09 04:15 PM]** **Shorter:** please??

 **[18/09 04:15 PM] Shorter:** cmon, for me…. i’ll be there

 **[18/09 04:16 PM] Eiji** **_is typing..._ **

**[18/09 04:18 PM] Eiji:** Fine. Let me know when you’re picking me up.

 **[18/09 04:21 PM] Shorter:** will do :)

________________________________

He sighed, leaning his chin on his hand. He knew what would happen anyways, he shouldn’t be so disappointed.

“You don’t look like you’re having the time of your life,” a voice came from his left, and he felt the couch sink down next to him when Yut-Lung plopped on it.

He turned his face to his… friend? He didn’t know if they were close enough to be called that, but he didn’t have many more people that he could label like that either. Yut-Lung looked gorgeous as always, with his long hair in a high ponytail and a blouse that looked like something that came out of a Vogue magazine (and, knowing Yut-Lung, it probably was). He was clearly dressed to impress. Eiji couldn’t say the same about himself, no — the fact that he wasn’t wearing the oldest sweater he had was already a win to anyone who spared a glance towards him. Those weren’t many, either way.

“Yeah, not really,” he replied absently, turning to the front again. The colored lights shone too bright and the volume of the music got a bit higher, making his head throb in pain.

If Yut-Lung was bothered by the fact Eiji didn’t give him much attention, he didn’t show it, as he directed his gaze in the same direction as Eiji’s. Both Asian boys sat there, quiet (or as quiet as anything could be in a party absurdly filled with hormonal teenagers), staring at the little mess that was made around a beer-pong game set over a pool table. Among the multiple high schoolers that laughed and cheered every time one of the players downed a shot, one could easily make out some of the faces.

Ash Lynx, for example, was one of them. The one who was hosting the party and, as always, was getting the most attention from everyone. He was beautiful — Eiji couldn’t deny it, staring at the way his green eyes shone and his cheeks went red from the alcohol. He was also cool enough for Eiji not to be wary around him, which was quite something if considered that Eiji was wary around most people. They had talked more than a couple of times, more because of acquaintances than anything else, but he still had a nice time when talking to him. Ash was too popular, though; even while being kind of a nerd, he always had the company of someone, or people trying to get his attention around him. Eiji didn’t really like being in the spotlight, and he sure as hell wouldn’t be in the way of people with a mission, so he didn’t really hang out with Ash. When Ash lifted his head, locked eyes with him and smiled, Eiji smiled back, but soon looked away.

Sing was there, too, even though this was really unusual. Usually, Sing would hang out with him for the entire party, or at least until Eiji got enough of social activities for the night and would head home. Tonight, though, a cute looking girl (and apparently Japanese too) had gotten the best of him, dragging him away with light touches and beamy smiles to the middle of the party. Sing had looked hesitant to leave Eiji all by himself there, but the Japanese boy shook his head and said it was fine. Just because Eiji didn’t enjoy parties, didn’t mean Sing couldn’t enjoy it too. He wasn’t even Sing’s guest, tonight.

He sighed. Yeah, he wasn’t Sing’s guest… He was someone else’s.

At one of the sides of the table and standing out with his flashy hair, there was him. He almost looked older and prouder in the middle of everyone, with his confident grin and large shoulders. Shorter was already three shots down, from what Eiji had watched, plus everything he had already drunk before he got dragged to the game. It was enough to make his sunglasses leave his eyes and his legs trip on one another when he laughed, but apparently still not enough for him to spare any glance towards Eiji yet. He had been staring at the purple-haired boy for most of the party and he still hadn’t given any signs to have noticed, even though Eiji knew he did. He was very much aware of Eiji’s gaze on top of him. _Just a bit more,_ Eiji thought with a bitter taste on his tongue.

“You know, why do you still even come?” Yut-Lung asked suddenly, breaking the silence between them, and if it was anyone else, Eiji would be offended by such question, but this was Yut-Lung, and Eiji knew very well that the poison dripping from his tongue was his usual way of talking. “You clearly don’t enjoy it, and Shorter is not exactly the best company.”

Eiji bit his lip, offering no response while still staring at Shorter at distance. Yut-Lung seemed to read right through him, though. He glanced at Shorter once, turned to Eiji again and scoffed. “Oh. I get it now.”

Eiji blushed fiercely, but still didn’t look at Yut-Lung. Was it that obvious? I mean, he didn’t mean to hide it, but he also wasn’t sure if there was anything to hide at all. It was still embarrassing that someone could see through him so easily, so he brought his knees up and hugged his legs in an attempt to hide his crimson cheeks. Yut-Lung scoffed again. “Man, good luck. It happens to the best of us. I wouldn’t get my hopes high, though… You know. He doesn’t lean that way,” he pointed at Shorter as if Eiji wasn’t already looking at him for almost an hour.

Shorter’s laugh could be heard from where Eiji was as the purple-haired boy traded drinks with a short, blonde girl that leaned into his space a lot. And he let her, of course. He looked carefree and happy, but Eiji could see behind the bright expression he exposed. “Yeah, I know,” he mumbled.

They stared at the scene for a moment longer, not saying anything before Yut-Lung decided he got bored of him and got up. “Well, I’ll see you around later, Eiji,” he said with a little wave, and his long hair swirled behind him as his hips swung to another place.

Eiji watched Shorter down two shots in a row, encouraged by the cheers of the people around him. He had his head shook until he felt like being pulled to the floor by gravity, as Eiji had experienced once and never again in his life. His knuckles turned white when, after setting his cup on the table again and accepting compliments for winning the game, he glanced at Eiji’s directions for a few seconds. Not more than five, but already enough.

 _Ah, there it is._ The bitter taste was back.

“See ya,” Eiji mumbled for no one to hear beside himself, knowing damn well he’d be out of there before he could meet Yut-Lung or anyone else again.

________________________________

The fresh air of the night made Eiji shiver slightly and shrink inside his dark blue sweater, the one _someone_ liked to see him wear the most. Being so exposed to the chill air probably wasn’t that good to his health, but if he had to choose between catching a cold and staring a second longer at Shorter flirting with some girl from Eiji’s class, he’d stay bedridden for the rest of his life. 

He leaned against the side of the house, staring at all of those cars parked on the street — he could only pray for the best, because he knew most of the drivers were getting dead drunk inside of the house — and definitely ignoring how the dude that was passed out on the bushes hadn’t moved a single inch during the 20 minutes he had been there. At least the music wasn’t so loud there, and his head could finally have a bit of rest. The only lights that made it possible to see were the street lamps, the faint one that came out of the house’s windows and his phone’s, as he typed a message to his sister.

She was asking how was he, where was he. Normal questions to ask when one’s living in a country on the other side of the world. However, how could he explain to his little sister he was a messy ball of anxiety in the middle of teens getting drunk ‘til passing out while going along stupidly with the dude he fell for? 

**[18/09 11:51 PM]** **Eiji:** I’m fine. Hanging out with some friends.

 **[18/09 11:54 PM]** **Nahoko:** Oh, enjoy! Just don’t go home too late

He scoffed. Nahoko and their mom had nothing to worry about; he didn’t plan on it.

 **[18/09 11:55 PM]** **Eiji:** I won’t. I’ll let you know when I’ve arrived, ok?

 **[18/09 11:55 PM]** **Eiji:** Talk to you later.

He turned off the screen of his phone right at the moment the front door of the house opened. It had opened a few times now, and he didn’t pay much attention when someone with half of a brain decided they had enough for the night and stumbled to their car. However, what came next is what got his attention — instead of the gentle _click_ of the door closing, more footsteps, though slower now, came in a pattern that Eiji was painfully too familiar with.

He turned his head to the entrance and there he was. Looking so handsome under the soft light that came from inside the house, plaid shirt and ripped jeans, just like a cliché dream boy that Eiji had read in books so many times and _seen_ so many times, but it still never failed to make his heart skip a beat. Eiji could see the faint blush of red across his cheeks and, without his sunglasses, Shorter’s eyes looked warm and soft, especially because they were staring at him.

 _Bittersweet,_ he ran his tongue across his chapped lips.

“Hey,” he said as if it’s the first time he had seen Eiji at the party, and it almost was as if they hadn’t interacted any time after Shorter got dragged to the drinks table, even though he was the one who invited Eiji to the party. He replied nothing, but Shorter still touched his own nape and took a step forward, towards him. “What are you doing here?”

Eiji chuckled sarcastically, because it was almost _ridiculous_ of Shorter to ask this. He knew the answer very well; he asked this every time. “Come on, Shorter,” he replied coldly. Shorter’s shoulders grew together, slightly embarrassed.

He still came closer and leaned against the house right by Eiji’s side, and Eiji made no move to stop him or get away. His knuckles turned white as he squeezed his hands into fists and listened to Shorter’s heavy breathing, angrily wishing he could feel it as his chests were glued to each other, oxygen mixing between their close faces.

He didn't move, though.

“You look beautiful,” it came after a moment of silence. Eiji chuckled again, still not looking at Shorter.

There was a part inside Eiji, a tiny but _oh_ so strong one, that swelled with happiness and satisfaction at the compliment, because he could pretend all he wanted he had just got the first sweater he found in his wardrobe, but it would be too much of a coincidence for it to be exactly the one Shorter likes on him the most. He was a good liar, but not good enough for that.

He knew, deep down, he had dressed up and tried to look pretty just a bit, just enough for things to be different, for Shorter to _maybe_ spare him a glance before alcohol made him do it. But Eiji wouldn’t admit it in a million years, and it hadn’t worked anyways — Shorter was drunk and staring at him with those vulnerable eyes that Eiji knew were reserved just to him, so instead, he rolled his eyes and said, “Is this you or the alcohol speaking?”

Shorter sighed heavily. “It’s… It’s me. You know it’s me,” he let out in a mere breathe. A lump took over Eiji’s throat. He offered no reply, still avoiding Shorter’s gaze, that was pinning him down like an anvil over his head.

When a finger touched his pinky, he closed his eyes, but still doesn’t move or brush it away. When this single finger became two, and three, and suddenly there was a hand intertwining fingers with his, he didn't do anything about it. He bit his lip to hold down the tears. Eiji was too weak, too far gone, and while his head tells him that it’s a bad idea, that he should just go away and leave Shorter there just like he did with him, his heart cheered and beat hard when he felt the cold skin of Shorter’s thumb running circles around the back of his hand.

Then, Shorter’s other hand ran up his arm and rested against his nape. It would be a settling touch in other circumstances, the weight of his hand pinning him down, but it only served to make Eiji’s heart beat painfully and the lump in his throat grow bigger. His breathing was heavy, almost as heavy as Shorter’s was, and he was not that sure they had the same reasons for it, but it was still agonizing.

“ _Shorter,”_ he whispered when Shorter leaned slightly forward and their breathes mingled with each other. He put one hand on Shorter’s chest, but he wasn’t even pushing; he was too weak for it. “Shorter, _no,”_ he tried again, because that was _such_ a bad idea-

“ _Eiji,”_ Shorter called his name like a prayer, trying to lean forward again even if Eiji turned his face and dodged him. Eiji closed his eyes when he felt tears coming up again, imploring to be released. “Eiji, please.”

“You’re drunk, stop,” Eiji asked in a weak, weak voice, but it was enough for Shorter to stop trying to lean forward, settling in just staying close to Eiji, feeling his warm and alcohol-smelling breath hit his face. It’s not enough for Eiji, though, as he felt anger building up inside him.

“Eiji…” Shorter mumbled, looking at him as if he was the only thing left for him in the world. It made Eiji boil in anger.

“ _No_ , okay!”, he snapped, and even though he could hear his accent get stronger with the anger (what usually would make him embarrassed), it didn't stop him from going on. “You can’t just— expect me to accept when you want to kiss me! I have feelings too, Shorter! You’re drunk, you’re _always_ drunk, and you're _always_ dragging me to these parties to get _fucking_ drunk and get enough courage to finally touch me, and I swear, Shorter, I swear—” a sob ripped through his talking, then another, and the tears he tried so much to hold back were rolling down his face. It completely drained the energy from his body and voice, and he just let his hand curl into Shorter’s _stupid_ plaid shirt and tears roll down his face. “I _swear,_ I just— I just wished you were sober, Shorter… J-Just once…"

“Oh, Eiji,” Shorter whispered with such a gentle voice, and for a moment, just a moment, Eiji let himself believe Shorter was truly sorry, that Shorter truly cared, and he _did,_ but everything was so difficult and so hard and it pained Eiji so much. Shorter’s hands moved from his hand and nape to brush away the tears that wet Eiji’s face, and when he leaned forward to pepper kisses across Eiji’s cheeks, Eiji’s forehead, the tip of Eiji’s nose, Eiji let him, he let him with his heart full because as he already knew, he was _such_ a weak man, and once again, he let Shorter’s strength and love wash over him, like a wave dragging a single grain of sand to the bottom of the sea, where he wouldn’t be able to help himself come up again. “I’m so sorry, Eiji, I’m so sorry… Please don’t cry, please, I’m sorry…”

His words sounded so true. Eiji wanted to really believe them so badly.

He almost did. Again.

After a few minutes of calming himself down, Eiji’s breathing became stable and tears weren’t staining his flushed cheeks anymore. Shorter still looked worriedly at him, but that wasn’t what Eiji needed. He could have Shorter’s worry, Shorter’s pity when he was sober. Right now, he rested his hand over Shorter’s racing heart and felt the smell of beer in his sigh when he asked, staring fiercely at his eyes: “ _Ask for it._ ”

 _“Eiji,”_ he called as one would call for a god, for a _lover._ “Eiji, can I kiss you?”

Eiji didn’t reply. He got up on his tiptoes and pulled Shorter down to meet his lips against his.

He wished he hadn’t felt it, but he felt. The familiar pleasure of having Shorter’s beer-tasting lips against his, warming his body all over, and the slide of Shorter’s hand sneaking around his waist and pulling him closer until, _finally,_ their chests were glued to each other and Eiji could feel Shorter’s rapid heartbeat against his own. He didn’t command them to, but his arms still went around Shorter’s neck in a familiar movement, and even though his mind was sending him red alerts that this was a huge mistake, he couldn’t even _think_ of getting out of Shorter’s arms now.

Shorter’s lips moved on his in a hurried movement, claiming Eiji’s mouth and Eiji’s heart all at once. The taste of alcohol on his tongue almost made Eiji grimace, but he held it back and instead melted when he felt the demanding slide of Shorter’s tongue against his. A sound he couldn’t help left his mouth when Shorter ran his fingers through his dark locks and tilted his head, deepening the kiss in a way that made his knees weak. _It didn’t take much to make his knees weak, though. Not when it was Shorter._

His fingers found their way through Shorter’s purple mohawk, and when he ran his short nails against the shaved part, he felt the shiver that ran up Shorter’s spine and the way his grip tightened on his waist. Shorter let go of his lips with a loud smack, and Eiji only had the chance to draw in a heavy gasp before Shorter tilted his head again and claimed his lips like he was a man in thirst and Eiji was the last drop of water in the Sahara.

His head started to grow dizzy, and he hadn't even drunk a single drop of alcohol. His lips already felt numb, but he couldn’t stop as he pulled Shorter down, down, _down_ and devoured his mouth with passion. Because even though he tried to deny it, he wanted it too. Even though he knew Shorter would drink, he came to the party. Even though he knew he’d be disappointed and hurt, because that was how it inevitably worked between them, he couldn’t help but want to go through that pain once more, because he knew that in the middle of it was the pleasure of finding himself inside Shorter’s embrace again.

He took another gasp when Shorter let go of his lips again, but instead of diving to claim his mouth again, he only pulled Eiji’s lower lip — which made Eiji let go of another embarrassing sound, but the flame in Shorter’s eyes showed that he _definitely_ didn’t mind it — and dipped his head to run his wet lips over the sensitive skin of Eiji’s neck.

His next inhale came in choppy little parts as he felt Shorter’s tongue run over a specific spot at the base of Eiji’s neck that made him clutch at Shorter’s shirt, pulling and pulling. It felt ironic how they knew a lot about each other’s bodies and special spots at this point, even though they only had occasions to find out about them when someone provided enough alcohol.

Bile came up his throat at the same time heat pooled sweetly on his stomach when Shorter sucked and nipped sweetly at his tingling skin, only to run his tongue over that same spot afterwards.

This was going too far. Just a bit more and neither of them would be able to control themselves. He knew where this was going ㅡ they had been _almost_ there once and they definitely didn’t need to be again. Not there. Not like that. Gathering all of his strength and willpower, Eiji dragged his hand from Shorter’s hair to rest it heavily against his chest. He didn’t push at all, only resting his hand there, but it was enough for Shorter to understand and stop his caresses on Eiji’s neck. They both sighed heavily.

Shorter kept resting his head on Eiji's shoulder, pulling him close again and letting his face hide in the warm curve of his neck. Inevitably, Eiji ran his fingers through the purple locks, in a soft caress that quickly made Shorter basically melt on top of him, both because of the alcohol and the loving ministrations of Eiji.

Eiji’s heart thumped painfully as they stood there for long, long minutes, only feeling the other against. Other people came out of the house, but they didn’t pay attention to their strange embrace, either because it was dark to see or they were too drunk to care. After a long while, Shorter’s body slowly grew heavy over his shoulder and his breathing became softer as the boy dozed off against his body.

_Oh, come on._

“Shorter. Shorter, hey,” he called, shaking his shoulder, but all he earned back was a grumble and him leaning even more against his body. “Come on, let’s get you home. Nadia must be worried.”

“I don’t want to,” he whined loudly, gripping on his waist tighter. It made a shiver run up Eiji’s spine. “I want to stay with you, and I want to kiss you, I don’t want to wake up tomorrow…”

Shorter rambled and rambled nonsense, and Eiji would be a filthy liar if he said it didn’t affect him _a lot_ , but... Shorter was still drunk. So, as the boy grew even heavier when he let all of his weight lean on Eiji, the Japanese boy manhandled him to at least lean against his side in a way that he could carry him to his car and take him home for once.

Eiji didn’t know what sins he had committed on his past lives, but he sure as hell regretted them now. He was sure he was paying for all of them as he dragged a drunk, whiny Shorter towards where his car was parked. He puffed heavily and sweat was already going down his back, wetting his shirt. Seriously ㅡ he could deal with sporadic kisses and constant heartbreaks, that was fine, but Eiji _always_ hated the part where he had to make a strong grown-ass man stop clinging to him and get on his own car without puking on Eiji or anywhere else.

Damn. He should've listened to his sister about the boys in America.

"Eiji!" a voice called from the entrance of the house, loud enough for him to hear it above the loud music.

He sighed heavily before turning with a frown to face Ash Lynx. He really, _really_ hoped he or Shorter hadn't forgotten anything important inside the house, something that he would have to come back and get it, because dragging a drunk Shorter one way only was already asking too much of him, and he wouldn't do it back and forth again. If Shorter was the one who forgot something, he would go back without it. Eiji had had enough.

"I see Shorter found you… You're already leaving?" he asked in a lower voice than before, and through the incomprehensible murmurs coming from Shorter, he almost didn't hear it.

"Yeah...Gotta take this one home. You know how Nadia is," he replied and then grunted, trying to manhandle Shorter so he would fit better against his side. It didn't really work.

"Oh…" Ash exhaled, touching his neck awkwardly. He looked nervous. "That kinda sucks… I was hoping, uhm… We could maybe, you know. Catch up or something," he said, tone getting lower and lower with each word spoken until Eiji could barely hear him.

 _Oh._ Well, fuck. Eiji knew that look in his eyes. He had seen it before. He had had it before. Wasn't that a situation...

"Sorry, Ash," he apologized with a little smile, and they both knew he wasn't apologizing just for not staying longer. _Better to end it now than for him to end up like me,_ he thought bitterly. "Seriously, I'm sorry. You're a great guy, but…"

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry," he interrupted before Eiji could make it even more embarrassing. Ash sighed and laughed, but it didn't have much humor on it. "It's alright. Just forget it. I think… I think I drank more than I should have."

Eiji looked down at passed out Shorter and sighed. "You wouldn't be the only one."

They stared awkwardly at each other for a couple of seconds more. Eiji wondered how would it be to fall in love with a guy like Ash. Would things really be different? Would Eiji be happier? Would _Shorter_ be happier?

Shorter grunted by his side, and it seemed to wake both Ash and Eiji from their trance. _I guess I'll never know_ , he sighed mentally.

"Well, uhm… I gotta drag this one home, so…"

"Oh, yeah, yeah, of course," Ash nodded vaguely, seeming to just remember his best friend's presence at the moment. "Do you need a hand there or…?"

"Nah, I think I got it," A lie. Eiji was clearly in need of help, but he wouldn't fuck up more than he already had. Those were enough heartbreaks for a single night. "Thanks. See you at school, Ash."

"Yeah, see you," he waved absent-mindedly, and right when Eiji was turning back, he called again. "Wait!"

Eiji turned, holding back an exasperated sigh. _You don’t need to make this even more difficult, Ash._

"I, uhm… Sorry. Didn't mean to… Yeah. Hope this won't make things uncomfortable between us?" he said in a small voice, and Eiji almost kissed him out of pity. Ash was usually so confident, so strong, almost like a force of nature. However, standing at that threshold with the light illuminating him like a halo, he looked small. Weak to his own heart.

For the first time, Eiji felt they were the same.

If only things were more simple...

"It won't, don't worry," he smiled, but it was also a lie. It always changed, one way or another. He was getting good at those, anyways. It was easy to lie to others when you lie to yourself first. "You're an amazing guy. I'm just not the right one for you. You'll find someone better."

Ash snorted. "Yeah, right. You don't need to make me feel better, Eiji," he said in a tired tone. Eiji could relate, honestly. "Anyways, sorry. And good luck. Tell him to give me a call when he wakes up tomorrow, alright?" he nods to Shorter, who was still passed out by his side.

Eiji wondered what they would talk about in this call. But, tomorrow, Shorter wouldn't be drunk anymore, so it wouldn't be Eiji's business.

"Will do, but I don't think he'll hear me," he chuckled and gave Ash one final look before turning again. "Bye, Ash."

"Bye, Eiji," Ash said. His voice sounded as sad as ever. A couple of minutes passed before Eiji heard the front door of the house click shut.

By that time, he had finally reached Shorter's car, parked right across the street. It was his sister's Rover, Eiji knew. She had lent it to him for the night. Eiji had no idea of why Nadia would still give Shorter the keys of the car when she knew he wouldn't be the one driving back home. She was already used to see Eiji on the driver seat of her car when they came back from a party.

Maybe she did it on purpose. Maybe she knew something. Deep down, Eiji hoped she didn't. It was enough of a mess with the current number of people in it.

Eiji patted Shorter's pockets, looking for his keys. The way he let out low, satisfied hums and his red lips curved into a grin when Eiji was fumbling through his back pockets definitely didn't help at all. Finally, he found it in his left front pocket, along with his phone, some old tickets to a movie Eiji hadn't watched and a single wrapped gum. Eiji took it for himself; it would be his revenge for now. He knew how much Shorter loved those gums.

Getting Shorter inside the car was another battle, because the purple-haired man didn't want to let go of him for his dear life. He kept murmuring nonsense about how Eiji was pretty, how much he liked him, how much he wanted to kiss him. How he wanted to stay with Eiji tonight. How he wanted to stay with Eiji forever.

"Oh my God, shut up, you're drunk," Eiji pleaded, still trying to make him stay sat on the passenger seat and doing his best to ignore the lump in his throat at Shorter's words. "You already made me break a heart tonight, don't make me break yours too."

"Do it," Shorter said, and it was the first coherent and firm thing he had said in the past half hour. It caught Eiji unprepared, making him freeze on his actions. He took Eiji's hands in his and looked deep inside Eiji's soul with pupils blown wide, voice full with emotion. "Break my heart. Please. I don't mind it. Not if it's you. I'll let you do it. I'll let you do anything with me, Eiji. Please, please break my heart..."

Eiji let go of his hands and closed the door on his face quickly, not giving him any chance to continue talking.

He felt the tears prickling his eyes as he went around the car, heading to the driver seat. Fuck, not again. It was so unfair. So, so unfair. There were so many nice guys out there, so many guys that were easy to love. Ash was one of them. It would be easy to love him. So why didn't Eiji? Why did he stay there? Why did Shorter have to say those kind of things and mess with his head and heart, just to pretend it never happened in the next morning?

_How could I break your heart, Shorter, when you already broke mine?_

When he opened the door and hopped on the driver seat, Shorter didn’t say anything else, and neither did Eiji. When he started the engine and started making his way outside of the residence, Shorter kept quiet with his head hung down. It seemed that Shorter’s sudden coherence and energy were just a lapse, as Eiji soon heard his breath become soft and even again when he dozed off on the passenger seat. He chuckled humorlessly. He shouldn’t be surprised, honestly.

The radio hummed some stupid pop song about love as he drove all the way to Chinatown. He’d have to get the subway back to Ibe-san’s apartment, which was kind of far from where Shorter lived. There was also the risk that the subways would have already stopped by the time Eiji got there. He already knew all of this, but of course he was still there, driving the Wong’s family car. It would be comic if it wasn’t pathetic.

The parking space where Shorter usually parked his car, a bit ahead of Nadia’s restaurant, was vacant as always. Eiji parked there, but if he were to speak honestly, he wasn’t the best at parking cars ㅡ hence why he didn’t usually drive, so it did take more time than he’d like to admit. With all the comes and goes that Eiji did while trying to fit the car on the space without hitting anything, Shorter woke up, grumbling something incomprehensible. He looked very slightly better, but Eiji knew the alcohol would still mess up his head until the following morning.

“We’re here,” Eiji announced as he finally got to park the car right and turned off the engine. He jumped off his seat as quick as possible, and the cold hit him as he waited for Shorter to get out of the car too. He got cold easily, and the heater inside the car was on during the whole ride, so it was definitely a temperature shock. Shorter finally managed to join him on the sidewalk without falling flat on his face (which was a win if compared to the past times), so Eiji pressed the button to lock the car and put the keys in Shorter’s usual pocket, where he knew he would find it later.

They began walking up the street, towards where Shorter and Nadia lived above the restaurant. His nose burned with the dry air of the night and he clutched to his jacket tighter in vain hopes of getting warmer. Shorter seemed to notice it; he stopped on his track and struggled his way out of his plaid shirt, and before Eiji could even say anything about it, put it on top of Eiji’s shivering shoulders. As if it wasn’t enough, he hugged said shoulders with his arm and tucked Eiji’s body against his, running his hand up and down Eiji’s arm to warm him up a bit.

Eiji bit his lip and closed his eyes tight. He couldn’t bring himself to push Shorter away. _Please,_ he pleaded to anyone that might be able to hear him, _just this once. Can I be selfish just this once?_

He had been selfish many other times, though, and he knew it, but it still didn’t make him protest to Shorter’s closeness.

The vision of the Wong’s front door was always a sad one for him. It meant much more than a simple entrance; he knew that it was where the night would end, when the perfect universe that was the past hours would crumble down to pieces and Eiji would be left with nothing but the taste of beer on his lips and the feeling of Shorter’s touch on his waist. But it was necessary ㅡ what more did he expect? Shorter had gotten what he wanted, and what Eiji secretly wanted too, for one more night. All that was left of it now were the memories forever engraved on his memory, but never properly addressed afterwards.

Eiji stopped in front of the door. That was it; he knew what he had to do now. But as he raised his hand to touch the doorbell and end it all, Shorter seemed to have other plans ㅡ he felt himself be grabbed by the waist and, before he could understand what was happening, Shorter’s lips met his for the second time of the night.

Eiji had once again proved himself to be a fool, because he couldn’t fight the way his arms automatically went around Shorter’s neck again even if he wanted to. It was a familiar move by now. The warmth of his mouth, the way the trimmed part of his mohawk tickled his fingers, the press of Shorter’s palm against the small of his back; it was all a familiar ending of the night that Eiji had already done multiple times before, but never hesitated to do again.

The kiss wasn’t as heated as the one in the party; instead, Shorter’s lips moved with care and purpose, trying to tell Eiji all the things he couldn't say out loud. And Eiji knew, he knew them all, but it was never enough. Not until Shorter could actually say it, using his words and without the beer clouding his mind. But while it didn’t happen, Eiji could just enjoy, with a heavy guilt on his chest, as Shorter let go of his lips with a final, sweet peck.

Even without kissing anymore, Shorter still held him close. Their foreheads were touching and their breaths mingled with each other, creating a warm cloud in the middle of the chilly night. His halit smelled no longer of beer, but Eiji’s sweet lip balm. It almost felt like lovers saying goodbye for the night, just to meet again by the day. Eiji was aware it was nothing like it, but he still felt a spark of hope deep inside his heart.

“Stay over tonight,” Shorter said in a low, husky voice. Eiji wanted to roll his eyes, but instead he closed them tightly, afraid that, if he looked at Shorter’s gaze, he wouldn’t be able to resist. “Please, just tonight. We can… We can figure this out. I can figure this out. I’ll be better. Can you just… stay with me? Just tonight?”

Eiji sighed. He knew all of those words. It was always like that, always. Shorter always asked him to stay over, which led to more making out sessions through the dawn until he couldn’t stand himself awake anymore and dozed off. But then, in the morning, Shorter would look at anything that wasn’t Eiji’s pleading face and comment on how wild the night was, and how he didn’t really remember much of it. Eiji knew he was always lying. He could hear it in his voice and see it in the way he rubbed his forehead.

He had believed Shorter’s words more than once, and he wouldn’t be committing the same mistake once again.

So, with a pain on his heart, he finally looked at Shorter’s eyes. They were wet and deeply sad, and it was a look that always made his heart hurt. He stepped back a little, getting out of Shorter’s embrace, and…

His finger touched softly the doorbell, and a soft _ding dong_ reached their ears.

As if she was waiting by the door, Nadia immediately opened the house. She didn’t seem surprised to see Eiji there — it was basically becoming the normal right now. She had dark bags under her eyes, and her swollen belly only made her look more tired and worn-out.

“Hey, Eiji,” she complimented in a low voice, and Eiji knew Charlie was probably sleeping somewhere upstairs. “Thank you for bringing him. I’m sorry for the bother again.”

“It’s not a bother, Nadia, don’t worry,” he smiled softly, trying to not let his feelings show on his face. He wondered if Nadia knew he was technically the responsible for Shorter’s constant drinkings.

“Still, thank you. I’ll take care of him for now,” she said as Shorter made his way inside the house. When Eiji looked at him, it was like a hand squeezing his heart. Shorter looked so defeated, so disappointed. At himself? At Eiji? He would never know. Nadia didn’t seem to notice, thought, as she only patted her brother on the back. “There, there. Hey, Eiji, don’t you wanna crash here tonight? It’s late already.”

He tried to ignore the way Shorter looked back at him hopefully, and only smiled apologetically. “Thank you, Nadia, but I’ll head home. I don’t wanna bother you or worry Ibe-san.”

“You’d never bother us, Eiji, but you do you. We’re here if you need anything,” she said, and then giggled a bit. “At least you had fun.”

Eiji tilted his head, confused. She pointed at his neck, still giggling, and she looked much younger without the worried fuse of her brows. Eiji was still confused for a couple of seconds, but when he realized what was up, his face went full red and he tried to cover it with his hand as best as possible, but Nadia was already laughing out loud. _Fuck, Shorter, seriously?_

“Oh, c’mon, no need to be embarrassed. I was your age once,” she waved, still giggling at him. “I hope she was hot, at least.”

He winced and did his best to fake a laugh, but didn’t reply anything. He also tried to not look at Shorter, but he could feel his piercing gaze on top of him ㅡ more specifically, on top of the mark he had left on his neck himself.

“Well, I gotta take care of this one. Make it home safe, alright, Eiji?” Nadia smiled. If she noticed anything, she didn’t comment on it, which made Eiji almost grateful. She touched her brother’s shoulder, motioning for him to go in, but Shorter still didn’t move.

He stared at him for a couple moments more. He looked ready to say something, do something. Eiji almost felt hopeful. But then, he should have known better. Shorter closed his mouth after a few seconds and only murmured, “I’ll call you.”

Eiji held back a chuckle. _Yeah, right_.

“Okay,” he said, still staring deep into Shorter’s eyes. They both knew he wouldn't.

Nadia finally convinced Shorter to go in, so they all said their goodbyes and Eiji went down the outside stairs when he heard the door clicking shut. The street was empty and quiet, and really wasn’t used to see busy Chinatown so… calm. It felt just like Shorter.

The night felt as cold as ever without Shorter by his side. The thought made him want to punch himself, but also to come back and take the Wong’s offer.

He didn’t move, though. He stood on the sidewalk, staring at the only window that had the lights on, the one he knew it was Shorter’s room. He stood there, hoping for a sign, anything that would make it different. Just a little call for his name in the silence of the night would be enough. But after a while, the light turned off, and Eiji was left standing under light pole, with fake promises and vain hopes.

He sighed, taking it as his cue to finally walk towards the nearest subway station. As he clutched to his phone on his pocket, he really wanted to be the one who wasn’t sober.

________________________________

**[19/09 12:34 PM] Eiji:** Hi, Ash

 **[19/09 12:35 PM] Eiji:** Sorry to bother, but has Shorter called you already?

 **[19/09 12:40 PM] Ash:** Hey, Eiji

 **[19/09 12:40 PM] Ash:** Don’t worry, it’s no bother at all

 **[19/09 12:41 PM] Ash:** Yeah he did, we just hung up

 **[19/09 12:42 PM] Ash:** Why do you ask?

 **[19/09 12:47 PM] Eiji:** No reason in particular. Just wanted to know if he had already woken up

 **[19/09 12:47 PM] Eiji:** Thanks anyways

 **[19/09 12:48 PM] Ash:** Don’t mention it

________________________________

**_[19/09 01:01 PM]_ ** _No missed calls today._

_Call_ **_Shorter_ ** _?_

_YES NO_

  
  


**_NO_ **

________________________________

**_[19/09 04:32 PM] Shorter is typing…_ **

**_[19/09 04:39 PM] Shorter is typing..._ **

**_[19/09 01:43 PM] Shorter is typing…_ **

**_[19/09 01:47 PM]_ ** _No messages from_ **_Shorter_ ** _today._

________________________________

  
  


**[30/09 11:01 PM] Unknown number:** YO GUYSSSS

 **[30/09 11:02 PM] Unknown number:** Parents out. Party at mine tomorrow. 9pm

 **[30/09 11:05 PM] Unknown number:** Bring ur own fucking beer

 **[30/09 11:07 PM] Caim:** FUCK YEAH

 **[30/09 11:07 PM] Caim:** I’ll bring the vaper

 **[30/09 11:22 PM] Shorter:** LET’S GET IT WOOOO

 **[30/09 12:18 AM] Alex:** If I end up in the fucking pool again I swear to God

________________________________

  
  


**[30/09 01:10 AM] Shorter:** go with me tomorrow?

 **[30/09 01:13 AM] Eiji:** Seriously, Shorter?

 **[30/09 01:14 AM] Shorter:** i know. i’m sorry.

 **[30/09 01:14 AM] Eiji:** No, you’re not.

 **[30/09 01:16 AM] Shorter:** just… please

 **[30/09 01:17 AM] Eiji** **_is typing…_ **

**[30/09 01:20 AM] Eiji** **_is typing…_ **

**[30/09 01:24 AM] Eiji** **_is typing…_ **

**[30/09 01:25 AM] Eiji:** Let me know what time you’ll be picking me up.

 **[30/09 01:27 AM] Shorter:** will do.

**Author's Note:**

> if you've read all the way 'til here, thank you so much!<3 hit me up on twitter (@prologhex) if you'd like to scream about shoreiji, or any other ship, or just talk in general lol
> 
> (thanks so much to sweet owenly for beta reading this!)


End file.
